“Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.” Psalm 86:11 (ESV)
Do you have a big but? (Sometimes I crack myself up!) Well, I do! Today, while praying during my devotions, I earnestly told God that I desired to be radically used by Him. The words however, were not yet off my tongue before I felt a tightening in my chest and breath caught in my throat. Yep, there it was. I knew it and God definitely knew it because it’s been in my prayers before.
My BIG BUT…….
Wanting to be used by God, to hear his calling and answer, IS my sincere desire BUT: I want to do it without leaving my comfort zone, sacrificing too much, or suffering in the process. In other words, I want to do God’s work BUT do it MY way!
Do you remember the “Parable of the Talents”? (Matthew 25:14-30) Jesus told his listeners a story about a man who gave his servants some of his money to take care of in his absence. Two of the servants used the money they’d been given to make more for their master. The last servant was afraid to take a risk…he had a “big but” if you will; and so, he buried the coins only to return what he’d been given. I am afraid I’m an awful lot like that servant; offering a poor return on God’s investment.
God entrusts us with talents, time, money, and other gifts. What we do with them is up to us. Will we use them to serve God or will we, ME, make excuses or let fear keep us from doing what He asks of us?
So, what’s a gal with a BIG BUT to do? I don’t have it all figured out yet but here’s where I need to start:
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on firm footing.” Psalm 143:10 (NIV) (emphasis mine)
Did you catch that? We’re not supposed to do it on our own! (You’d think I’d learn by now). It’s God’s instruction and guidance we need to depend on to make the task before us attainable. It’s also important to be willing to put one foot in front of the other and “walk the walk” in our everyday lives to prepare us for all God calls us to do. I’m certainly not there yet and it won’t happen all at once, but I believe with prayer, practice, perseverance, and taking baby steps as I follow after God, my BIG but will shrink until it disappears from my prayers all together. I look forward to the time when it’s finally “behind” me! (Get it? behind? I did it again!) How about you? Is your BIG BUT getting in the way of doing all God calls you to do? I pray that this may be the first step for you AND me on our “but-free” journey to doing God’s will God’s way!
