Scared

Several years ago I took my class up on a mountain to the highest point in our state for a hands-on, nature-filled, educational adventure.  As it turned out, it was a little more adventurous than I could handle.  As the leaders explained to the kids what the next activity would be, my pulse quickened and my hands began to sweat. A cave. We were headed underground. I. Was. Scared.

For as long as I can remember, even the thought of small, closed-in places cause panic to rear its ugly head, and to actually go in to one? Well let’s just say it isn’t pretty!  But there I was the teacher….so with assurance from the guides that it would open up into a wide cavern, I put on my hard hat and hesitantly ventured in. Squeezing through narrow passageways my heart felt as if it would burst from my chest. As the entrance disappeared from sight, I had a hard time catching my breath. Finally, we reached our destination below the earth and they were right, it was a larger space. What we failed to talk about was that it was also pitch dark! Sitting on the cold damp cave floor, not being able to see my own hand let alone my students faces, the space became very small and fear took over. All I could think of was escape!

A kind caver had to lead this shaking in the knees ole teacher back out, where I then waited for my class’ return. Disappointed in myself? Completely! Wish I’d trusted those who were leading the way more? For sure! Embarrassed to let my** kids down? Most definitely! Thankful to be sitting in the light and wide open landscape? Absolutely! With a wide open view, peace returned and my fear retreated!

Guess what? A dark cave isn’t the only place where fear steals my breath. Sometimes in the dark of night, lying in my own bed I. Am. Scared. Health issues whirl in my mind: my pulse quickens. The well-being of my children and grandsons dominate my thoughts: I begin to sweat. Life’s worries consume me: I can’t see a way out. The walls of anxiety seem to close in around me and all I can do is hope for an escape! I suspect some of you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Recently, I came across these verses in Psalms and they’ve been like a light in the darkness to me. I hope they are for you too:

“When hard pressed, I cried to the LORD; he brought me into a spacious place. The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.” Psalm 118:5-6(NIV)

As I’ve pondered on them it’s occurred to me that as much as I try to avoid small, tight spaces, I’ve allowed my worries and fears to trap me in just such a place, hard pressed on all sides! I hadn’t thought about it in that way before. Disappointed in myself? Yep! Wish I’d trust God’s leading more? Beyond any doubt! Embarrassed that I still let anxiety take me down? Without question. Here’s what I’m thankful for though:  We have an “Escape”! All we have to do is cry to him and He brings us not just out into the light, but into a spacious place: A boundless place where we can breathe in His Spirit, a comfortable space where our hearts will beat to the rhythm of His peace, a generous place where our fear will finally retreat. A cave, an airplane, a high ledge, our own beds, it doesn’t matter. Fear can’t trap us because we have an Escape and He’s with us always everywhere we go.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

This post is written as part of the 31 Days of Five Minute Friday Free Writes Challenge. You can read posts from other writers on the same topics over at http://www.fiveminutefriday.com I hope you know that I so appreciate you being here! God bless, Cindy