Tag Archives: New Beginning, Teaching, Second Grade, Special Ed., Retirement

A Teacher’s Heart

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Teaching is a Work of Heart!

Teaching is a Work of Heart!

To all my precious Teacher friends out there…Happy Teacher Appreciation Day!  Never forget what an important job you do and how much I admire you!

A Teacher’s Heart

It started when I was very young,

A seed began to grow.

Crayons, scissors, glitter too,

Went with me where I’d go.

Sunday School, babysitting

Camp counselor and more,

Time with children anywhere

Caused my heart to soar.

It took hard work along the way

And several interviews

With love and support of family and friends

I stepped into my teacher shoes.

Those poor first students who had to teach me

Time and time again

Lessons tried, lessons failed

Lessons that should never have been.

Through it all they didn’t give up

And thankfully neither did I,

When I think back on those precious first years

I truly want to cry.

I’ve put my heart and soul into

My classrooms and each child,

Each day a new adventure

Some good, some bad, some wild.

Thirty-two years of my life

Living out this dream,

The ups, the downs, laughs and tears,

The times I wanted to scream.

The teacher’s day is never through

It’s hard to understand

The patience, the strength, the prayers it takes

To embrace a job so grand.

The seed has grown and blossomed

Its roots have gone quite deep.

In my heart are memories

A treasure I’ll always keep.

Little did I know back then

Long ago when this did start,

That God’s perfect plan all along

Was to give me a teacher’s heart.

Once a teacher, now a teacher

it’s what I’ve always been

Looking back I have no doubt

I’d do it all again.

Wonder as You Wander

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"Wisdom Begins in Wonder" Socrates

“Wisdom Begins in Wonder” Socrates

While glancing through my husband’s recent issue of “Reader’s Digest”, I ran across the story entitled “A World of Wonder”. It is described as an “Appreciation in Words and Photographs”. In honor of that cover story the editor listed things that have filled her with wonder and it got me thinking…..What fills ME with wonder? So, after much pondering and in no order of importance here are twenty things that have filled me with wonder lately:

1. My baby girl having a baby
2. The rhythm and song of the sea
3. The colors, sounds, and dynamics of birds at my feeders
4. The glistening, crystal world created by ice on trees
5. Strength given to people in crisis
6. Bulbs that lay dormant underground and then at the perfect moment burst forth into the sunshine
7. The unbreakable bond with my sisters
8. The utter silence after a snow storm
9. Pure and perfect artistry found in nature
10. Holding hands with a child
11. My son’s faith
12. The effect of music on my soul
13. How as teachers we can predict the weather by our students’ behavior
14. The life cycle of a butterfly
15.  That no matter how old I get I still need my mom
16. The smell of a bookstore
17. Reading the same piece of scripture and finding something new and meaningful each time
18. Notes left for me on the kitchen counter
19. The infinitude of stars visible on a clear night
20. Grace

The amazing thing is I could list 20 more and then 20 more. I find the longer I focus my attention on those things that defy logic and common sense. Those things that are beyond my understanding and those things that just leave me speechless, the longer my list becomes. The homey smells of bacon and coffee. Friendships that last a lifetime.  A brand new box of crayons.  Happy tears….. Life is full of wonder if we just take the time to notice. Think about how different our world would be if we shifted our attention to wonderful things instead of noticing our differences, the negatives, and the disappointments around us. Just as Liz Vaccareillo, editor of “Reader’s Digest”, challenged her readers to make their own list, so I challenge you, my readers, to stop, look around, and recognize those things in your life that fill YOU with wonder. I think you may be surprised at how many there are and the difference identifying them makes on your outlook. We live in an amazing world surrounded by miracles every day. Why don’t you begin today to Wonder as you Wander through yours.

Wait and See

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Wow!  It’s been since October that I’ve written a post!  I have many excuses…..I’ve worked on a couple  projects up at school, I’ve traveled a little, and getting lost in the holiday rush…..all good reasons for not having the time to write…..good, but not the real reason.

The real reason I haven’t written is my own disillusionment and fear.  It was eye-opening for me just now to go back and read my October post, “It’s Time”.  I talk about taking off and living my dreams but instead I have done the exact opposite.  Actually, I’ve been hiding.

I felt ready to retire.  I felt it was time.  I felt it was for the best for me and the school.  I felt God was leading me to a new life and I couldn’t wait. But waiting is exactly what I’m doing and I must admit I’m not doing a very good job of it.  Somehow I thought that my new future was going to emerge from writing this blog.  It hasn’t.  I was sure opportunities were going to knock on my door. The only opportunities I’ve been given are the spam messages to improve my blog that fill my inbox.  I thought I was going to fulfill the longing of my creative spirit and make a difference.  I thought I knew where I was going…..

Keeping busy hasn’t been a problem.  I’ve spent a lot of time back at school substituting, putting up bulletin boards, chairing special projects and I’ve enjoyed it.  It’s just that this isn’t how I envisioned it to be.  Have I made a big mistake?  Did I take my future into my own hands instead of following God’s lead?  I talk a big game but truthfully, I’ve been scared and disappointed in myself.  What have I done?  What am I supposed to do now?  I know…….wait.

So, here I am back to tell you that while I wish I was flying, sailing, climbing, or traveling on a new exciting adventure, I’m actually a little lost and still not sure where I’m going.  It’s a good thing I have a patient husband, family who support me, and friends that cheer me on.  Because really when it’s all said and done, it doesn’t matter where I’m headed.  What matters most is who’s along for the ride and I am richly blessed by MY “traveling partners”!  Am I a little anxious? Yes.  Is this how I pictured retirement?  No.  The reality though is life rarely happens the way we expect it to.  Once we realize it, we always have the choice to give up (as I sort of have been doing) or embrace the moment we’re in (what I’m now going to try to do).  Armed with the confidence that God has a plan, that He can see the whole picture, and the knowledge that I’m surrounded by people who care about me, I’m going to try and relax, let go of my preconceptions, and be grateful for this time of discovery.  Where will it lead me you ask?  Your guess is as good as mine.  I believe we’ll just have to WAIT and see.

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It’s Time

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It’s time…..past time really.  For what you ask?  For taking down my hummingbird feeder for the year.  I’ve been diligently watching and waiting for an empty feeder, however, it hasn’t happened because there is one lone straggler.  I’m not sure why he’s staying behind.  Maybe he feels safe here, maybe it’s my special nectar recipe he’s become accustomed to, or maybe he feels weak and needs to build up his strength for the long trip that awaits him.  Whatever the reason, he’s here, he’s hungry, and I’m doing my best to help him prepare to be on his way.

I too, am a lingerer.  To me, the biggest benefit of retirement so far has been being able to take my mornings slowly.  I relish leisurely sipping my coffee, nectar if you will, and then refilling my cup as many times as I want.  Casually remaining in my PJ’s instead of quickly getting dressed is refreshing.    I’ve dreamed of this languid life and staying behind while the rest of the world rushes off is a great gift.  Maybe my hummingbird friend has discovered this too.

There’s a danger to being a lingerer though.  For the hummingbird, tarrying can literally mean life or death.  For me, the peril is the life or death of my dreams. Living a fulfilling, meaningful life or dying in my procrastination and hesitation.  I have an inner creative, kooky side but for most of my life I’ve stifled the ideas and plans that have emerged from that part of me.  I vacillate and put off acting on them letting opportunities and experiences flitter away.  Oh, I develop those ideas in my mind.  I spend time with them but when it comes to taking off with them, I linger.  Fear shouts that I will look foolish, complacency reminds me that change is hard, and insecurity whispers that I’m not good enough.  I remain hungry for the journey I could have and should have taken.

For the first time in many, many years I have the opportunity to pursue some of those postponed dreams and create some new ones, too.  I’ve remained at “the feeder” long enough. God has gifted me with what I need and my life experiences have taught and prepared me to move ahead.  With the help and support of those around me and lots of prayer, it’s time….past time really, for me to be on my way and fly!

A Work in Progress

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I’ve been rereading all that I’ve posted here since beginning “My Sea of Thought” and I realize that I’ve written about a lot of “lessons I’m learning.” Because of that, one might assume that I have it all together.  I can assure you that I don’t so I wanted to set things straight.

In the past two years I truly have begun to understand some things about myself.  I think it started when I read the book “A Confident Heart” by Renee Swope of www.proverbs31.org .  I believe with all my heart that God directed me to this book to help begin a process of healing and growing.  Since then, through music, readings, and study, I think I’ve developed a clearer picture of my true self and the woman I want to be.  The thing is that being presented with a lesson and applying it are two different things.  It’s just like all the years teaching in my classroom…I prepared and presented lessons everyday but what my students did with the information was up to them.  I have very good intentions but I’m sad to say they don’t always develop into actions.

I’m finding that my ramblings here benefit me.  It’s a way to clarify the changes I need and want to make…a way for me to get a picture of this new and improved person I desire to be.  It’s kind of like an artist who allows the picture he has inside of himself to come to life through his paint; turning an empty canvas into a masterpiece.  In my case, I am the empty canvas gradually coming to life but I have a long way to go!

Confucius said, “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” I want you to know that I am moving more slowly than I’d like to admit.  Old thought patterns and insecurities die hard but I’m determined to steadily put one foot in front of the other.  I so hope that some of my life lessons resonate with you, too.  I am learning (here I go again!) that through shared struggles and triumphs we gain a better understanding of each other and by offering support and encouragement we make moving forward just a little easier.  It is a life-long, often bumpy journey that requires patience and dedication but one that when traveled culminates in creating a unique masterpiece of each of us.    Slowly but surely it’s the journey I yearn to take.

Preparing for Travel

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It is with unsure footsteps that I begin this journey of becoming a blogger.  I have an open ended ticket with the destination unknown, but excitement for this trip is urging me on.

I have been a teacher for 32 years. Twenty-six of those years I spent as a Special Educator.  I then moved on to Fourth Grade and that lead to my placement now as a Second Grade Teacher.  I have discovered that Second Grade is where I’ve always belonged!  The children accept me as I am (wacky), still love learning, and laugh at my jokes.  I receive precious love letters, gifts of feathers, rocks, and shells, and one-of-a-kind pieces of art regularly.  It doesn’t get much better than that!  It has been a privilege and blessing (most days) to spend time with my students. I have come to a place though, where I am ready for a change.  With much prayer and thought, I have decided that this will be my final year as a classroom teacher and I will retire in June.  The thought of retirement stirs feelings of fear, excitement, sadness, and relief.  There is a churning in my soul, however,  that prompts me to move on to this next leg of my journey.  It is my hope that I can share with you stories from my classroom and the lessons I learn on my jaunt through life.  Pack your bags and hold on!  Adventure awaits!