Tag Archives: #livefreeThursday

Hanging in Limbo

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“Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” Hebrews 10:23

 

Have you ever found yourself hanging in limbo between “all that I am and all that I’m not”?  That’s where I find myself now, dangling, like Paul when he wrote in Romans 7:15  “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it.  Instead, I do what I hate.”

Starting my day in devotion with God, following through on the things He’s calling me to do, trusting His plan and not my own……all things I believe I’m to pursue, and some days I get it right. But then I swing off track and checking Facebook, lingering too long, worry, and so much more have me suspended in a place I don’t want to be.

I’ve been watching a hornets’ nest high in a tree outside my kitchen window. It sways like a pendent in the wind back and forth, back and forth…..just. like. me. Over time, all that mid-air action has caused rips and dents to form but the nest continues to holds fast. How can that be? Is there a lesson for me, perhaps? Maybe you can relate too. For as much as I don’t “understand myself” and waiver between what is right and what I hate, I’ve found this WE have to hold on to:

“This is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to Him and never stop trusting him.  This High priest of ours understands our weaknesses for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet He did not sin.  So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.  There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it.”

Hebrews 5:14-16

Yes, hanging in limbo is a frustrating place to be. I know better.  I want better.  What a blessing it is that despite the bumps and bruises, the back and forth, the do and don’t do, a hornets’ nest reminds us that we are anchored in the grasp of God, who knows just where we are and where we’re going.  We can boldly leave limbo behind and embrace with certainty, that with His help, mercy and grace we’ll reach our destination.

I’m really enjoying writing posts as part of Suzanne Eller’s #livefreeThursday.  This week’s prompt as you might have guessed is “limbo”.  If you’d like to read more thoughts on being in limbo click here http://www.tsuzanneeller.com

 

I’m Marked

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"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:12

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12

I’m Marked

My mirror tells a story

I don’t want to hear.

Of passing time, sagging skin

And other things I fear.

Wrinkles, laugh lines,

A hair on my chin?

How can this be my outside

When I still feel young within?

Age spots, freckles,

A scar by my eye.

I’m marked head to toe

By years passing by.

Just about the time

I begin to despair,

A still, small voice says;

“See My masterpiece there!”

Leaning into the glass

I look long and deep,

The reflection I saw

Caused me to weep.

For it was at this moment

My heart began to sing,

Because dear friends,

I’d forgotten one thing.

I’m marked on the inside!

Saved by His grace!

My sins are forgiven,

Jesus died in my place!

Each hair on my head,

The reflection I see,

Is all part of His plan

For me being ME!

The face is the same

But the story is new.

I’m a woman marked by God

Seeing the beauty of His love shine through!

This post was written as part of #livefreeThursday.  Pop over to http://www.tsuzanneeller.com to read more about being marked by God!

 

 

A Baby Bottle Lesson

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"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21 NIV

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV

My baby bottle years have been way behind me, that is, until my grandson was recently born.  Now, I’m reveling in every moment of holding him close in my arms while he drinks from his bottle.  This precious time is a blessing and a joy and believe it or not it has reminded me of a truth about myself:  I am a planner. (That’s a nice way of saying I’m a control freak)  At home, when I was teaching school, on vacation, at church events, in retirement, and on and on; I’ve wanted things to go the way I thought they should go.  A lot of my energy has been spent organizing, designing, formulating, and figuring out how to navigate life with as few disappointments, unwelcome surprises, or bumps as possible along the way.  Now don’t get me wrong, in day to day life, my strategies have been useful in accomplishing many things that had to be done,  but being so wrapped up in doing things myself I believe has caused me to be missing out  in my relationship with God.  Here’s where a bottle feeding helped me see a little more clearly.

Being almost five months old, my grandson has started trying to help feed himself.  He clumsily brings his hands up and attempts to wrap them around the bottle,  In doing so, more times than not, his hands get in the way and the flow of milk stops or he pulls the bottle completely from his mouth.  The result is usually a leg kicking, arm flailing, red faced yell.   In my hand I have everything he requires to be nourished and to satisfy his needs.  I offer it to him freely and with love.   All my grand baby needs to do is open his mouth and accept the life giving gift.  Do you see where this is leading?  Here’s my ah-ha moment……

How often have my attempts at planning life out my way actually hindered my receiving what God was freely and lovingly offering me?  Thinking I know what’s best, have I pushed unseen blessings away?

Have I faced times of famine simply because I’ve strived to do things on my own? 

Watching Carson trying so hard to feed himself has caused me to pause and reflect.  I’m reminded that God has me, and he has you, cradled in His arms and He’s offering us His very best for our lives.  

Life certainly can cause us to kick and scream while teaching us that we’re not in control. It’s time for me to give up my clumsy attempts at directing my purpose and my path.  I need to do less planning and more praying.  Let go of my timelines and trust God to provide everything I need at just the right moment. Maybe you’re ready to give up your control too.  Together let’s loosen our grip and open ourselves  to “drink” in the life He has waiting for us.

I have written this post as part of #livefreeThursday.  The prompt was “I give up”. Want to read more? Go to http://www.tsuzanneeller.com

Treasured

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Rounding the last corner after a long drive with two small children, I spotted her house.  As I pulled in the drive my eyes found hers as she came from between the brightly colored hanging plants, a smile lighting up her face and her arms already spread wide to welcome me. A silent sigh from deep within escaped  through my lips, releasing the stresses of the trip and so much more. We’d made it; despite spilled french fries, backseat territory arguments, unscheduled pit stops, and highway construction, we’d reached our destination….my Grandma’s arms! 

Being at Grandma’s for me, was always a respite from the rest of the world. Affection abounded, caring overflowed, and despite what was going on in her life, I was always welcomed  with her whole heart. She enveloped me into a place of tenderness and acceptance, but more than that, she had a way of making me feel truly  treasured.

Looking back, I can’t tell you the exact words or actions my Grandma used to create such a sense of being cherished, but I can say that those times wrapped in her love and encouragement were a rare and precious gift I cling to today.

I don’t know about you, but I can easily lose sight of myself as a treasure and instead focus on my “rusty junk pile”. I fail, disappoint, abandon, compare, complain…you know the list. Oh, how I question my worth!

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son threw his arms around him and kissed him.  The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fattened calf and kill it.  Let’s have a feast and celebrate.” Luke 15:20-23

Here’s what the open, welcoming arms of my Grandma and those of the Prodigal Son’s Father are teaching me:

Our worth isn’t measured by what we do or don’t do.  It’s measured by love.

 That junk pile we worry about? Love took care of that when Jesus spread His arms, wide on the cross to welcome each of us to our destination in Heaven, where we will be accepted, loved, and treasured. Now that’s reason to celebrate!