“Why are you hiding from us? Don’t forget our suffering and trouble!” Psalm 44:24 (GNT)Hide
Sleep didn’t come. Looking at the clock, it said 1:30. I looked again, this time 2:00. Then it occurred to me, maybe God was keeping me up so that I could see the lunar eclipse. I had thought about staying up but had given up on the idea and yet, there I was wide awake. Easing quietly out of bed I put on my fuzzy slippers and thick fleece robe, grabbed my camera, and headed outside with great anticipation. But as I looked up, instead of finding what I was expecting, I only saw clouds that were hiding the moon from my view and was I ever filled with disappointment. Standing in that dark, cold spot alone, I wondered why God had brought me there.
Not so long ago I was in a cold, dark place, too. Our family had been praying so hard. Our friends were praying. Even people we’d never met were lifting our grandson up in prayer. I’d waited with the anticipation of those prayers being answered, that the doctors would in fact find life within his little intestines. But instead, there I stood, filled with the realization our prayers hadn’t been answered the way we’d hoped. As hard as I tried looking up, I couldn’t see past the devastation to what was ahead and I wondered why God had brought us there.
“Why are you so far away, O LORD? Why do you hide yourself when we are in trouble?”
Psalm 10:1(GNT)
The Psalms are packed full of lament like this and we know… Life. Is. Too. They say, “seeing is believing.” I don’t know about you, but it’s hard for me to see God’s goodness in the midst of suffering.
“For our life is a matter of faith, not of sight.”
2 Corinthians 5:7 (GNT)
Oh how I wish I could say that living by faith is easy for me. You too? There’s no doubt that trouble is always around and it is easy for me to think in those times that God is not. Here’s the thing I’m pondering though, even when the the moon was out of sight behind the clouds that night, I knew from experience it was still there. Maybe the reason I was wide awake in the wee hours was to help remind me and I hope encourage you, that the same is true of God’s goodness, We don’t have to see it in the moment to believe it’s there because we’ve experienced it time and time again. Even in this difficult journey with our grandson, looking back over the last few months there’s evidence of God’s goodness through it all. So as I continue to learn (it takes me awhile) to live a life of faith, I’m going to try to keep looking up with anticipation knowing God is right there with me.
“How clearly the sky reveals God’s glory! How plainly it shows what he has done!”
Psalm 19:1 (GNT)