Tag Archives: Being Me

A Teacher’s Heart

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Teaching is a Work of Heart!

Teaching is a Work of Heart!

To all my precious Teacher friends out there…Happy Teacher Appreciation Day!  Never forget what an important job you do and how much I admire you!

A Teacher’s Heart

It started when I was very young,

A seed began to grow.

Crayons, scissors, glitter too,

Went with me where I’d go.

Sunday School, babysitting

Camp counselor and more,

Time with children anywhere

Caused my heart to soar.

It took hard work along the way

And several interviews

With love and support of family and friends

I stepped into my teacher shoes.

Those poor first students who had to teach me

Time and time again

Lessons tried, lessons failed

Lessons that should never have been.

Through it all they didn’t give up

And thankfully neither did I,

When I think back on those precious first years

I truly want to cry.

I’ve put my heart and soul into

My classrooms and each child,

Each day a new adventure

Some good, some bad, some wild.

Thirty-two years of my life

Living out this dream,

The ups, the downs, laughs and tears,

The times I wanted to scream.

The teacher’s day is never through

It’s hard to understand

The patience, the strength, the prayers it takes

To embrace a job so grand.

The seed has grown and blossomed

Its roots have gone quite deep.

In my heart are memories

A treasure I’ll always keep.

Little did I know back then

Long ago when this did start,

That God’s perfect plan all along

Was to give me a teacher’s heart.

Once a teacher, now a teacher

it’s what I’ve always been

Looking back I have no doubt

I’d do it all again.

It’s Time

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It’s time…..past time really.  For what you ask?  For taking down my hummingbird feeder for the year.  I’ve been diligently watching and waiting for an empty feeder, however, it hasn’t happened because there is one lone straggler.  I’m not sure why he’s staying behind.  Maybe he feels safe here, maybe it’s my special nectar recipe he’s become accustomed to, or maybe he feels weak and needs to build up his strength for the long trip that awaits him.  Whatever the reason, he’s here, he’s hungry, and I’m doing my best to help him prepare to be on his way.

I too, am a lingerer.  To me, the biggest benefit of retirement so far has been being able to take my mornings slowly.  I relish leisurely sipping my coffee, nectar if you will, and then refilling my cup as many times as I want.  Casually remaining in my PJ’s instead of quickly getting dressed is refreshing.    I’ve dreamed of this languid life and staying behind while the rest of the world rushes off is a great gift.  Maybe my hummingbird friend has discovered this too.

There’s a danger to being a lingerer though.  For the hummingbird, tarrying can literally mean life or death.  For me, the peril is the life or death of my dreams. Living a fulfilling, meaningful life or dying in my procrastination and hesitation.  I have an inner creative, kooky side but for most of my life I’ve stifled the ideas and plans that have emerged from that part of me.  I vacillate and put off acting on them letting opportunities and experiences flitter away.  Oh, I develop those ideas in my mind.  I spend time with them but when it comes to taking off with them, I linger.  Fear shouts that I will look foolish, complacency reminds me that change is hard, and insecurity whispers that I’m not good enough.  I remain hungry for the journey I could have and should have taken.

For the first time in many, many years I have the opportunity to pursue some of those postponed dreams and create some new ones, too.  I’ve remained at “the feeder” long enough. God has gifted me with what I need and my life experiences have taught and prepared me to move ahead.  With the help and support of those around me and lots of prayer, it’s time….past time really, for me to be on my way and fly!

The Only Way to Travel

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Riding the Tygart Flyer

Fall is here!  The colors are vibrant, the air has less humidity, and the evenings are cool.  It’s one of my favorite times of year!  My husband and I celebrated the season and his birthday by taking a short, scenic train excursion yesterday.  Scenic it was!  The mountains were alive with golds, reds, oranges, and greens.  The bright blue sky boasted fluffy white clouds and the falling leaves whirled on the breeze like fairies.  When we reached our destination we were not disappointed.  The waterfalls and river glistened in the afternoon sun like diamonds.  It was a fun and relaxing day except for one thing……

Our train traveled up then back down the mountainside on one track which means on one leg of the trip you’re sitting backward.  I didn’t think much about it until a funny feeling came over me.  Call it dizzy, woozy, or what you’d like, it wasn’t pleasant. Scenic or not, taking a trip backward is not what I prefer.  Thankfully by adjusting my seat and where I focused on the landscape I was able to enjoy the rest of the journey back to the station.

If traveling backward is so uncomfortable, then why do I do it so often in life?  It’s hard to say how many hours or even days I have spent looking back to times past when I was younger and skinnier, my children were little and I felt needed , love was new, or someone I cared about hadn’t passed away.  During those times I yearn for the past and often perceive it to be better than today.

Unfortunately, I don’t only look back on “good times.”  I more frequently return to the mistakes I’ve made, the people I’ve hurt, the people who’ve hurt me, and  the things I wish I’d done differently.  Returning to these memories produces that queasy, uneasy feeling just like my train ride down the mountain.   These are painful reminders of my failures and I can recall them just like they happened yesterday.  As a result unpleasant sadness and regret settle in my soul.

Have you too taken these backward excursions?  It’s time to adjust our seats and change our focus!  Why continue to waste our today by reaching back into yesterday?  It ‘s becoming clearer to me that continually traveling back to the past takes me off track and is making it harder to reach my desired destination.  The events of our lives, good and bad, have helped shape us into who we are today.  Instead of clinging to them we need to focus on the joys we’ve experienced, the lessons we’ve learned, wisdom we’ve gained, and set our sights ahead to a future that is vibrant and alive.  Whether life takes us up, down, or whirling on the wind we can be sure of one thing…… Living in the now and looking forward is the only way to travel!

Sweet Smelling Life

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You would think after thirty-two years in the classroom that I have seen it all. Well, children never stop surprising me. When my students came into the classroom I noticed a strong fragrance of coconut. They unpacked and got settled into their desks. Our room REALLY smelled good. Another teacher came in and she commented on the coconut smell and one of my little girls announced that she was the one who smelled so good. I asked her what made her smell that way and she proceeded to say; “You know that stuff you spray in the bathroom? Well, I sprayed it all over me this morning!” Yes, air freshener used as body spray! Of course I explained that it was not good to be sprayed with bathroom spray and she promised she’d never do it again. I am not sure what brand it was but it had a long lasting aroma, that’s for sure!

I can’t say it ever occurred to me to spray myself with air freshener but there have been times that I wished I could cover up some of my grime so others would just see the sweet smelling side of me.  Covering up my weaknesses, insecurities, and failures just feels safer than exposing the real me. I tell my second graders all the time that it is ok to make mistakes, and just to do their best but I don’t often apply those thoughts to myself.  I think that is how we lose ourselves. We present the sweet side pretending there isn’t a smelly side.  And we’re all doing it! How much better would our world be if we shared our flaws and supported each other in our weaknesses? What if we got to know each other and cared for each other at our most vulnerable moments?

We live in a world where the perfect body, in the perfect outfit, with the perfect hair and makeup are seen as beautiful and accepted. I am here to tell you that this old gal sags and bags in all the wrong places, elastic waist pants are closer to becoming  my style and my hair? Naturally curly with a mind of its own. Oh, and putting eye makeup on is like driving a jeep over a gravel road. My point is, we spend so much time trying to let everyone believe we are what we are not and in the process miss out on embracing who we really are. I know because this is a lesson I am learning and it’s time for me, and all of us, to leave the air freshener in the bathroom where it belongs and be who we are really meant to be. Only then will we be living the sweet smelling life.