“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11(NIV)
It should be an exciting time. A time for looking toward the future. For planning and dreaming. So why is my stomach in knots, my throat tight with unspoken fears, and worry filling my nights? One word. Trust.
We’ve come to a place where our house isn’t able to be our place of refuge anymore. Its age has caught up with it and the problems are too numerous to solve. Those who know houses advise us to tear it down. My reaction? You know me…..”Tear down the rooms where my children played and slept?” “Tear down the place where we’ve celebrated birthdays, graduations, anniversaries?” (Memory hoarder. Remember?) We’ve agonized. We’ve prayed. Talked to friends, family, and professionals. The answer has remained the same.
My husband gave me a “Wish Book” to encourage me to draw, write, and paste ideas that help create a new vision of home. And I have. I’ll even admit it’s been fun. But all the while, somewhere deep inside where I don’t like to go, a voice lists all the things that could go wrong. Chants the reasons it will never work. Stirs up fears that lurk there. The devil knows my weaknesses and he doesn’t hesitate to attack those vulnerable places.
So while our children are anxious for the work to begin and our friends are excited for this next adventure we are embarking on; I’ve dug in my heels and waited. Waited for signs to move ahead. Waited for signs to stop. Waited for clarity. Waited for peace. And in that waiting I’ve…..Failed. To. Trust.
Much to my dismay, I know that “Trust” is my word for 2016. It challenges me. How about you? Are you like me? Hesitant.. well more like desperate… not to let go of your own control? Reluctant to move forward? I hope not, but if you are; here’s the good news!
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
I’m learning this lesson at an agonizingly slow pace but I’m sensing a shift. A realization that I don’t have to “do” or “know”; but rather, I need to “be”. Be still. Be in His word. Be obedient. Be in His presence. Be loved. Change has never been easy for this ole gal, but to “be” all I can for Him, it’s vital.
Maybe you too, know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re also facing a change, an illness, a death, a broken relationship, difficulties at work, a new baby, a longing for a baby, a wedding….good change or not so good, here is some encouragement I’ve found:
“Let’s face it-it can be challenging and sometimes scary to step out in faith, especially when we don’t know what lies ahead. But when we trust God with our future and seek out His plans for our lives instead of our own, the blessings we receive will far exceed the things we think we are leaving behind.”
Tracie Miles, Faith Zone Challenge
Yesterday, we went to begin the final steps in ordering our new home. We prayed before we left. Boy, did we pray! There were times I felt I couldn’t breathe. My nerves were on edge, but as soon as we pulled into the parking lot a peace seemed to come over me. And while we talked and planned excitement began to replace some of my fear. God is amazing like that!
I know that I’m not where I need to “be”….yet….there’ll still be worries, fears, and roadblocks to make me want to turn back. My plan? One word. Trust. I’m determined to put my trust not in “my own understanding” but with God and to follow as He leads me on the path to not only my new home here, but someday to the home He’s prepared for me (and YOU) with Him.
Do you have a word for 2016? I’d love to hear what it is! Is there something I can pray about for you? Just leave either or both in the comments and I look forward to connecting with you!
Faith…my one word
My friend,K.A, second bout of breast cancer.
Sweet mother of three boys.
Love you Cindy❤️
Lifting K.A. In prayer right now. Love you too!
Thank you, my sister. Trust, has been my word too. Sometimes difficult to stay focused for me. So many thoughts and concerns swirling around my head. You are amazing.
It is the same for me…..whirling and swirling. I am a work in progress. YOU are amazing!
This spoke volumes to my all-too-fearful heart, my friend! I’m so excited for your new venture and all that you’re learning and passing along on the way, AND I’m claiming for you MY word for the year: JOY! May you find great joy in the planning, anticipation, and process of this new “home come true”!
I’ll take that word! I DO want to find joy in this process so pray I can let go of the doubts and fears……Your words mean a lot to me!
I can certainly understand your feelings here. To move and lose a home with so many cherished memories would be hard, but at the end of the day, it’s not the house that holds the memories, it’s your heart. I am sure your new home will be beautiful, and just think of all the memories that will be made with precious grand babies! 🙂 ❤
My word for 2016 is Grace! Learning to receive God’s grace, and to extend grace to others has been a struggle for me, but I’m finally catching on!
Good luck with your new home, I will keep you in prayer!
Thanks Rachelle! I try and tell myself that when I’m in our new house, I won’t be wishing I was back in the old. There always seems to be a big canyon between what I know and what I feel. Ugh!
Grace is a challenge for me too. I will keep you in my prayers too. Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it!
Dear Cindy, after the children grew up our house was partially knocked down by an earthquake. I felt just the same as you do. The patter of tiny footsteps would never echo there again. There would never be a family hearth again, with memories attached. Or so I thought. Now my new home has become a hearth where the family meet, the grandchildren play and we all bounce on the trampoline in my new garden. It took a while – and it doesn’t feel the same. But it feels just as good. You will make your new house into your family home, because you are you.
I’m writing through tears Sue! What an encouragement you are to me! I have been thinking about the “not the same” part but haven’t let myself cling to the “just as good”. I will start doing that. I’m so grateful for your words! Thank you!
Dear Cousin, I’m really enjoying every installment of your thoughts. Nurture or nature, the age-old question, I answered it for myself years ago with other observations and my conclusion was nature. Well, your struggle is exactly my struggle. Worry and I are best friends. I, just like you, worry over everything. I think and re-think everything. I continue to try and “break up” with my best friend and then take her back. She causes havoc in my head. I spend lots of time apologizing to God for not listening, not believing and not trusting Him. We are made from the same fabric, half of our DNA comes from the same branch. We also share the same God and we both know He’ll carry our burden. Thank-you for the reminder. I’ll pray that we both listen to the promises of our Creator. Congratulations on your new home. You deserve it and He is blessing you, accept his gift. 🙂 Let go and let God (I know, easier said than done, haha).
Oh boy, Tears again! We ARE made from the same fabric and I’m so glad we are! That said, sharing the same Creator…..even better! I thought I had my worrier under control….until Carson came along! Boy did that get her going again and now with this house! It really drives me crazy about myself! I love that you reminded me that I am receiving a gift! I’m going to try and change my perspective to that! Thank you sweet cousin! Love you!
Cindy,
Your writings are great!!! I think we all can relate……….changes, fears, challenges we have no control over. Always remember to look back on God’s faithfulness in the past. Sure helps save the moment…….the day :)))
Psalm 139:5 is my prayer for you ……………may He hedge you in and keep His hand upon you <3
Hugs to you!!!
Caron
Caron, you are so right. I have been through a lot of change in my life and God has always been faithful! I don’t know why I can’t keep my focus on that…..ugh! Thank you for the reminder and the prayer! I need both! I treasure your insight!