Author Archives: Cindy

About Cindy

I am a city girl turned country girl. I moved to the country for my first teaching job and 32 years later I am still here. My husband and I are blessed to have a son and a daughter and son-in-law AND we have two "granddogs" who we love to spoil.

Day 27/31: Strive

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“But God has shown us how much he loves us-it was while we were still sinners that Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 (GNT)

Day 27: Strive #writetogether31days #fiveminutefriday

Looking back on most of my life, if you’d ask what I did best, my answer would quickly be “strive.” Trying hard somehow became as natural for me as breathing. But there’s more…I didn’t just want to be the best student, daughter,  teacher, wife, mother, church member, etc. I wanted to be the perfect one. I couldn’t stand the thought of making a mistake. Well, we all know how well that’s worked out.

Somehow I thought that if I put in the time, followed the rules, checked off the lists, did all the things, my working hard would result in finally feeling successful, accepted, and worthy of love. The harder I tried, the more it seemed I messed up, and then, I tried even harder. It. Was. Exhausting! Have you been there?

This way of thinking even spilled over into my Christian life and so, I made every effort to be the the “good girl” I determined I needed to be.  The thought of letting God down could overwhelm me and in turn I filled my already full schedule with more to-do’s to satisfy what I believed He expected of me. But like Paul in Romans 7:15, I did not understand myself because what I wanted to do I did not do, but what I hated to do, I did. Pursuing perfection was doing me in!

“For it is by God’s grace that you have been saved through faith. It is not the result of your own efforts, but God’s gift, so that no one can boast about it.”
Ephesians 2:8-9 (GNT)

The truth is, I always knew it was impossible to be perfect (although it didn’t stop me from trying), but what a relief it was to learn the real Truth: that I didn’t need to be perfect at all. It was as if I heard God saying, “Cindy, stop trying so hard.”

It’s difficult for us humans to accept that it isn’t all about us. (I have to remind myself more often than I’d like.) But, no matter what wonderful things we accomplish, how intelligent, generous, kind we are, how many rules we follow, or how much we love others, the reality is, we can never be good enough, do enough, or be enough to get to Heaven. Jesus is the only Way. And my friends, He is all we should strive after; because as it can only be, one day, through Him we’ll find that perfection forevermore. 

“Christ, however, offered one sacrifice for sins, an offering that is effective forever, and then he sat down at the right side of God. With one sacrifice, then, he has made perfect forever those who are purified from sin.”
Hebrews 10:12,14 (GNT)

Day 26/31: Home

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“we have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands.” 2 Corinthians 5:1b (NLT)

Day 26: Home #writetogether31days

This is one of my favorite places. It’s the halfway point between my house and my mom’s so I stay here often. It’s kinda funny though, when I check in on my way up, the clerk will ask where I’m headed. So, I say, “Home to Michigan.” But then, when I’m traveling back and she asks, I reply, “Home to West Virginia.”

Born in Michigan, it is also where I spent my teenage years and went to college. I still have family and friends there who I visit whenever I can. I moved to West Virginia for my first teaching job. That was 41 years ago. I have family and friends here who I do everyday life with. 

So where is home? Is it where we’re from? Or, is it where we are?

I’ve lived in several homes in my lifetime. There are treasured memories, assorted stories, and achieved milestones attached to each one. I’ve loved them all and yet, this subtle feeling of being a little out of place, a bit of discontent, a longing for something else has always been present. You too? I’ve learned and I sometimes still need to be reminded that as Christians, we’re supposed to feel this way because the truth is, for us, Home is where we’re going.

“For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.”
Hebrews 13:14 (NLT)

“But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior.”
Philippians 3:20 (NLT)

“Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 5:8 (NLT)

I don’t know about you, but there are days that I stand and look up to Heaven saying, “Come, Lord Jesus, come!” And of course, there are times when I plead for just a bit longer here on this earth. We don’t know when Jesus will return. We don’t need to, but we are supposed to be ready for the move. 

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.”
John 14:1-3 (NLT)

Where is home? Here in the world, it’s with the ones we love, but one day we will be Home with the One who loves us into eternity. So, maybe the next time someone asks me where I’m headed I’ll smile and say, “Home to Heaven.” What a day of rejoicing that will be!

Day 25/31: Discover

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“If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” Jeremiah 29:13 (NLT)

Day 25: Discover #writetogether31days

Feeding people makes me happy and this is my most recent new offering. Cooking and baking are definitely my love language. Because of that, I really enjoy discovering new recipes to prepare and share. There are certain things I look for though, for example, number of ingredients. The more one requires, the less likely I am to try it. Plus, those ingredients must also be things I have on hand or at least am familiar with. Simple directions are also a must. No complicated, many steps, takes a long time dish for me. When all these things come together, I know it’s a recipe worth keeping.

You’d think that if I use these things to find the perfect recipe, I’d do the same when seeking Perfect Jesus. The truth is however, that I often do the exact opposite. There are times when I believe that the “ingredients” that go into making me, me, just aren’t sufficient, that more are required. Plus, they’re too bland, not unusual or stand out as they should. The voice inside my head, I’m guessing you might know the one I mean, tells my heart I’m not smart enough, kind enough, generous enough, good enough, or any other “enough.”

Sometimes I think I must follow a complex set of steps like: praying the “right way,” reading my Bible more, taking on more responsibility at church, you get the picture. Creating a long list of to-do’s equals busyness which in my little mind will make me more pleasing to Him.

“Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, ‘Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.’ But the Lord said to her, ‘My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.’” Luke 10:39-42 (NLT)

Gosh, I need this reminder.  I wonder if you might too. Feeding people is what Jesus is all about. So, He’s telling Martha, and us, that less is more. Worrying about too many details keeps us from creating and enjoying something special with Him.

Few, familiar, simple. Those are what I look for when searching for and keeping recipes. When we find ourselves at Jesus’ feet like Mary was, we discover it is the same: few concerns (One really), a familiarity to savor, and love given simply and lavishly. This recipe for Life is always and forever worth seeking, keeping, and sharing!

Day 21: Forget

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“I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.” Psalm 143:

Day 21: Forget #writetogether31days

Remember Not to Forget

I don’t want to forget
You created all things
And surround us with beauty
Oh, the joy that it brings

I don’t want to forget
The stable, the star
The wisemen who traveled
To You from afar

I don’t want to forget
The miracles, Your Word
The lives that are changed
Because they have heard

I don’t want to forget
The whips, the thorn
All You endured
The veil that was torn

I don’t want to forget
That bloodstained tree
The sins that You bore
Because You love me

I don’t want to forget
Each day is a gift
To You alone
My praises I lift

I don’t want to forget
You’ve prepared us a place
And one glorious day
We’ll meet face to face!

“I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”
Psalm 77:11-12

Day 20: Clarify

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Day 20: Clarify #writetogether31days
Five Minute Friday

Have you ever wished that God would just tell you what to do in a voice you could understand? Recently I was working in my comforting, dimly lit church sanctuary. It’s one of my favorite spots to be in and a place of peace for me, but this particular day I was really wrestling with a decision weighing on my heart. Knowing what God wanted me to do wasn’t clear and going back and forth in my mind between both options just seemed to confuse me even more.
I. Needed. Things. Clarified!

And so, I sat down in “my pew,” looked up at the large painting of Jesus’ face that many small churches have hanging over the pulpit, and said aloud, “Would You please just turn Your head to look at me and tell me what You’d have me do?” (I’ve told you before that I’m a wacky one!) Then, I stared into those kind, painted eyes and waited. I’m guessing you won’t be surprised to learn that our Jesus painting did not speak to me. My husband said it was probably a good thing because if Jesus had done as I asked, I’d have probably keeled over right then and there. And so after a bit, I got up and went back to the tasks I had yet to complete. But, this is NOT the end of the story!

My struggle was between going to see a person who over the past 52 years has hurt me many times and despite my attempts at staying connected chose over and over not to be involved in my life and now was asking to see me or not going at all which is what “I” was leaning toward. Believe it or not, it’s only been in the last couple of years that I’ve finally made peace with the whole sad, heartbreaking situation and I have been comfortable with the thought of not ever seeing him again. That person is my dad.

Maybe you can see my dilemma. I wanted to follow God’s command to honor my father even though he’s only been father in blood and name, not relationship. I also wanted to support my two younger sisters who’d already decided they were going to make the trip. On the other hand, I didn’t want to step back into the unhealthy dynamic that’s been my life with him, plus I had many other reasons for me not to go as well, of which I presented each of (passionately I might add) to God.

Ask for clarity and you get it #1…Each time I added a reason not to go, a reoccurring thought kept coming to my mind: “It’s not all about you.” (I must admit I’m not a fan of this, haha.)

Ask for clarity and you get it #2…During this same time I was doing a ladies’ Bible study and during our weekly get-together after my “talk with the painting,” the author, Kelly Minter spoke through her DVD in depth about obedience and love for God. She said, “Obedience is built on sacrifice.” (again, not a fan!)  And, “Our desires for what we want need to become less than our desire to obey God.” AND, “Obedience is built on what God wants to give us.” (I was beginning to get the message whether I really truly wanted it or not.)

Ask for clarity and you get it #3…Just a few days later in the same study I came to a “personal response” question. Are you ready? (I wasn’t) This is what it asked: “Who do you need to see face to face? Ask the Holy Spirit to bring someone to mind who needs you or whom you may need. IT MAY REQUIRE AIRFARE.

Jesus may not have turned his painted head toward me when I asked, but He sure has spoken!  I still don’t want to go, but you know what? I have such a peace about it being the right thing that I’ve decided to make the trip anyway. 

Oh, one more thing. Even after knowing that I was being led to go, me being me decided to follow Gideon’s lead and test the Answer I received.  Gideon used a fleece, asking for it to be dry when everything else was wet and then for it to be wet when everything else was dry. (Judges 6:36-40) I used plane flights and seats to prove it to myself to be true. So, I decided if there was a flight that I could take that wouldn’t require me to spend an extra night at the airport (rural living) on both ends AND I could have an aisle seat on all the planes, then I’d know I was really meant to go.

Ask for clarity and you get it #4 (even when you test God)-Mid-morning flights each way are booked and aisle seats chosen on all of them. 

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.
James 1:5 (NLT)

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

For those of you who have made it this far I thank you for hanging with me in this long story I never really intended to share. I guess what I want to leave you with is this, first, know (speaking to myself, too) that even when it doesn’t feel like it, we will hear the voice of God. Maybe not through a speaking painting obviously, but in the many different ways He uses to help us understand. We simply need to always be watching and listening. 

And finally, be ready. Because with God:

Ask for clarity and you get it!

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

Day 18/31: Hands

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“And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left.” Matthew 19:15 (NLT)

Day 18: Hands #writetogether31days

She very delicately held the small, red spheres in her petite hands.  One by one she examined them carefully, rolling them gently between her thumb and finger. Then, as if they were treasured friends, she softly laid each one individually on the bottom of the bucket. 

Children have a special way of seeing the world. That was one of my favorite parts of teaching and of this time spent in the vines. Picking cherry tomatoes with my young grand-niece was a gift and seeing them through her eyes opened mine.

As I stood watching that sweet girl’s deliberate, unhurried way, I thought about how I’d have done the picking. Without really looking at them, I would have plucked those little things quickly off their stems, dropped them carelessly in the bucket, and moved on quickly to get the job done. Is that how you would have done it too?

As He often does, God prompted me to ponder something important through those curious, attentive, little hands: “What am I missing?” 

“One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could lay his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him. But Jesus said, ‘Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.’ ”
Matthew 19:13-14 (NLT)

Goodness, I can relate to those disciples! Can’t you just see them? Without really looking at those around them, they’d been picking their way through the crowd all day, moving people through the line to see Jesus. Then these parents show up with their children and the disciples just want to quickly finish up so, they try to send them all away. What were they missing? 

“About that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, ‘Who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?’ Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, ‘I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven.’”
Matthew 18:2-4 (NLT)

Just as God did with me, He was using a child to open the disciples eyes so they could really see and He wants the same for you, too. “Those who are like these children.” “Become like little children.” What are we missing?

Somehow when it’s been a minute since we were children ourselves, we tend to forget what it was like. Do you see what we, like the disciples can miss? I think this is what Jesus is teaching us. Lay all our adult stuff aside and simply believe. Then we will see things through the eyes of a child of God, loving others, looking for the joy, leading with a giving heart, and reveling in all the wonder of small, everyday things….like cherry tomatoes delicately held in our hands.

Day 17/31: Dance

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“Kind words are like honey-sweet to the should and healthy for the body.” Proverbs 16:24 (NLT)

Day 17: Dance #writetogether31days

As a seasoned bird watcher (that’s a nice way to say I spend too much time looking out my window), I continue to be mystified and even aggravated when more than one hummingbird arrives at my feeder. Don’t get me wrong, I love to have as many as would come except, sometimes it only takes two before the dance inevitably begins. You know the one I mean….the dance of power.

The stage is set, visitors arrive, like what they find, and decide to stay awhile. No one is anticipating trouble but within seconds they’re accosted by the swift wing-work of “the one.” The one who wants control, that is.  Soon they’re all trying to avoid what’s coming at them. Whirls, flits, twirls, bobs, practiced moves all executed with skill in an attempt to claim victory over the nectar. Never mind that there’s plenty for all, the careening continues until the plan put into motion pays off and the dance ends with all but the one who lead the show denied what was provided for them. 

Sound familiar? It’s so amazing how often animal behavior mimics that of humans.  It reminds me of today’s social media driven world where the same thing can happen. We like lots of others on our feed but it can only take two before it begins…..that dance of power.

For us, the world’s the stage, viewers click on, they like the action, and decide to follow along. The thing is, what one person posts as food for thought, not wanting or expecting trouble, can suddenly be stepped on by the fancy footwork of one who wants to control the thoughts and opinions of others. Soon our own words are spun around in a way we never intended, others begin to cut in and twist them in a way we couldn’t have imagined. A well-choreographed plan to trip us up and take the spotlight off our beliefs and onto their own. More and more it seems as if the rest of us are denied the right that has been provided for everyone to express ourselves. I don’t know about you, but it leaves me more than mystified and aggravated when this happens to me!

So what are we to do? I’ll tell you what my first reaction is…my own dance of power. I want to show them what it means to “tango” with me! Thankfully, the Holy Spirit usually takes the lead at this point and reminds me to instead:

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Colossians 3:13 (NLT)

“Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.”
Romans 12:17-18 (NLT)

What I’m learning is that when we’re in step with God, our actions will speak louder than our words ever can. The truth is we are all going to experience times when we’re invited to the dance of power. The question is who or Who will we chose as our partner?

Day 16: Promise

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“Because of God’s tender mercy, the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace.” Luke 1:78-79(NLT)

Day 16: Promise #writetogether31days

There are mornings I just don’t want to get out of bed. You too? I’m at an age where sleep is hard to come by some nights and my body aches in places it never did before making rolling out more difficult, so pulling the covers over my head despite light filtering through the blinds can seem more desirable than getting up. But, I’m also old enough to have learned that no matter the circumstances surrounding me, how I feel, or what I desire, the promise of a new day is a precious gift.

“This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Psalm 118:24 (NLT)

It’s not always easy to face those days that come after our darkest nights, but I’ve found that in God’s backward world, it’s in the midst of them that the Light shines most brightly. Being offered the chance to be a blessing to someone else on my “bad days,” often ends up blessing me more! It’s amazing that when I have felt so alone and could barely face climbing out of bed, a song, devotion, or conversation has reminded me that Jesus sacrificially left us so that He could make a Way for us to never be alone. And, more often than not, on those terrible, no good, very bad days when all I want to do is grumble, the wise words of my beloved neighbor come to mind, “count your blessings.” And she was right; gratitude rises above grumbling!

Whether it dawns with challenges, heartache, loneliness, stress, aches and pains, or any of the other things that can lurk in the dark, a new day also always brings to light opportunities for us to bless others, share the Good News, and many reasons to be grateful. Yes, God has taught and continues to teach me that no matter how it dawns or sets, the promise of a new day is always a precious gift!

“Yet I dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”
Lamentations 3:21-23 (NLT)

 

Day 11/31: Mirror

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“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” Proverbs 27:19 (NLT)

Day 11: Mirror #writetogether31days

It’s funny how differently I picture myself compared to the reflection looking back at me in the mirror. I can go along thinking time has treated me well and then, I catch a glimpse of someone I’m not always prepared for. All those features that I’ve wished I could change seem magnified to catch my attention. The lines and age spots across my face are illuminated like they’re the stars of the show. And those gray roots? Together they seem almost to glow like a neon sign saying “help needed.” Sometimes, I just can’t believe my eyes and it’s hard to love what I see.

I hate to admit it, but I can cast a critical eye on what’s mirrored in the world and those around me too. My focus may be on things I think should be changed, wrinkles in character, off-colored behavior, and it affects my perception. Then there are times when I notice that more is showing than should be and others when I wonder what’s being covered up. Sometimes, I believe my eyes too much and it makes it hard to love those I see.

“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever-faith, hope, and love-and the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:12-13 (NLT)

I’m learning that it’s important to remember whether looking at myself or at others, my perspective is imperfect. Maybe yours is too. Just as if looking in a mirror, we view things now in a backward-human way, not as God beholds them. One day when “we will see everything with perfect clarity,” those things that make us feel different or that we use to divide us today will be celebrated simply as unique creations. Until then, challenging as it may be, we need to open the eyes of our hearts and let God be what others see reflected back. 

“This is real love-not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.” 1 John 4:10-11 (NLT)

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It doesn’t not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)

Day 8/31: Hunger

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“The true bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”
John 6:33(NLT)

Day 8: Hunger #writetogether31days

There are many things in the Bible I just don’t understand. You too? Recently I was on a quest to make sense of what the Word says about prayer as it related to situations in my life. I read commentaries, asked wise Christians whom I trust, went through a challenging 13 week study on prayer with a friend (without her I’d never had made it), and I actually prayed…a lot…that I’d finally get it.  I didn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t wasted time, but what I’ve come to realize is that I had a hunger for the wrong thing. My appetite was for food for thought rather than for my soul, I desired knowledge to clarify current life circumstances rather than craving the Truth and Bread of Life. 

“So don’t worry about these things saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
Matthew 6:31-33 (NLT)

I was worrying about getting it right and there’s a smorgasbord of information available: books with all the “answers” we are hungry for, experts willing to feed us what we think we want, videos, podcasts, other people (think of Job) who know the just perfect recipe to take off the edge. The problem is, and you probably know this, all that the world offers is only temporary and eventually leaves us just feeling empty again.

The lesson for me and maybe for you too is that while a diet of study is vital for our growth, it’s not necessary to understand everything before we believe. Having faith that God has a plan, that He is good, and that He provides all we need is the key ingredient to living a “full” life. Paul tells us in Philippians 4:19:

“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” (NLT)

When Jesus taught the disciples (and us) to pray he said, “Pray like this:….Give us this day our daily bread.” HE is the Bread we should savor daily. Trusting in Him satisfies like nothing else can. He makes sense when we lack understanding. Praise God!  I think I’m finally beginning to get it. How about you?