I’ve been rereading all that I’ve posted here since beginning “My Sea of Thought” and I realize that I’ve written about a lot of “lessons I’m learning.” Because of that, one might assume that I have it all together. I can assure you that I don’t so I wanted to set things straight.
In the past two years I truly have begun to understand some things about myself. I think it started when I read the book “A Confident Heart” by Renee Swope of www.proverbs31.org . I believe with all my heart that God directed me to this book to help begin a process of healing and growing. Since then, through music, readings, and study, I think I’ve developed a clearer picture of my true self and the woman I want to be. The thing is that being presented with a lesson and applying it are two different things. It’s just like all the years teaching in my classroom…I prepared and presented lessons everyday but what my students did with the information was up to them. I have very good intentions but I’m sad to say they don’t always develop into actions.
I’m finding that my ramblings here benefit me. It’s a way to clarify the changes I need and want to make…a way for me to get a picture of this new and improved person I desire to be. It’s kind of like an artist who allows the picture he has inside of himself to come to life through his paint; turning an empty canvas into a masterpiece. In my case, I am the empty canvas gradually coming to life but I have a long way to go!
Confucius said, “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” I want you to know that I am moving more slowly than I’d like to admit. Old thought patterns and insecurities die hard but I’m determined to steadily put one foot in front of the other. I so hope that some of my life lessons resonate with you, too. I am learning (here I go again!) that through shared struggles and triumphs we gain a better understanding of each other and by offering support and encouragement we make moving forward just a little easier. It is a life-long, often bumpy journey that requires patience and dedication but one that when traveled culminates in creating a unique masterpiece of each of us. Slowly but surely it’s the journey I yearn to take.
Wow you have laid your heart and soul right out there. I am so proud of you! You are an amazing person, friend and sister. Love you
This thinking is courageous. Thanks for sharing it. Just to remind you that you don’t need to improve – you are wonderful just as you are. But I know what you mean; I’m doing the same thing – and finding it just as hard.